We’ve all been there right? Scrolling on social media looking at the exterior view of someone else’s life, wondering what the heck am I doing wrong? Or not just on social media, but in everyday life, seeing that amazing co-worker, family member, or friend who just seems to have all of their ‘ish together. Key word: SEEMS. The thing is what you see is what they allow you to see, the outside portrayal of a perfect world or what you perceive to be a perfect world. You don’t see what goes on behind the scenes: the coworker who stays up most nights, overworking, stressing, attempting herself/himself to fulfill this perfect image of having it all together, the friend who is maybe secretly feeling alone, the mom who is plagued by the idea of having to be “supermom” when she really is screaming on the inside for a break, or the social media “guru” who is learning along the way, wanting to quit every other day because that entrepreneurial life they speak of isn’t exactly what’s it’s hyped up to be, or what some may want you to believe it is for them. No one is perfect, no one’s world is perfect. So I’m here to remind you not to fall into the comparison trap.
The Comparison Trap can have such a negative impact on your personal growth. Comparing yourself to others, you may begin to downplay your strengths, assets, abilities, and begin to play small. You may begin to focus all of your attention on what the other person is doing rather than taking the necessary energy to focus on yourself and the things you need to be doing to reach your goals. The Comparison Trap can cause anxiety, stress, depression, all unhealthy negative emotions. It can cause a spiral of irrational thoughts and beliefs that limit you and keep you stagnant, stuck in your own head, asking yourself so many questions like why not me, why not now, how can I be better, how can I be more like them. When being more like them is not the goal, the goal is to be the best you possible and to evolve and grow daily.
Tips on how not to fall into the Comparison Trap:
Turn off social media platforms- It’s okay to take a break.
Unfollow those you feel you compare yourself to the most- It’s okay to be inspired by someone but it’s not healthy to allow that inspiration to turn into you falling into the Comparison Trap.
Focus on your ‘ish- Work on your goals, personal, business, mental, spiritual. If you feel you need to learn more, or step your game up, do the work (i.e read more, listen to podcasts, practice self-reflection, review your goals, write down small actionable steps that will help you accomplish the long term goals/desires).
Stay in your lane- This goes along with focus. Focus on doing you, being your unique, perfectly flawed self. No individual is the same, remind yourself that just like “you can’t do it like them”, “they can’t do it like you”. Everyone has their own journey and process of life to take.
Practice some self-care- Show yourself some love. Celebrate the small wins in your life.
Practice gratitude- Be grateful for your life, where you are, and your journey. Remember all the good you’ve experienced and that you’re doing the best that you can. Remind yourself that this is what matters.
I hope you remember these tips the next time you begin to fall into the trap of comparing yourself, your life to others. Remember that you’re awesome! Go forth and be great!
